Histeria..

okay.. it happened. really happened right before my eyes..

9.00 pm. Arrived at the hostel, to help students with their preparation for Majlis Tadarus Al Quran..

10.30 pm : Suddenly, my student was called to go to the school block, where the form 2 and 4 students were having their prep class.. [hmm, something was wrong..]

then, the male warden passed by the reading room, and asked me to come along.. [ohhkayy, definitely something was on]. So, knowing nothing, I tagged along.

Apparently, there was a 'gangguan from -----'. Erm, what to do? How to act? Should i call someone? Luckily, the senior students seemed to know what they are doing, and they were somehow trained to face this situation.. (very impressive).. so, everyone was asked to return to hostel, and alhamdulillah.. things calmed down... so, I** and I continued coaching Zaki, and helping out Sukran.

11.30 pm : This is when things got heated up.. A very serious case, I think. One of the girl was possessed and she got a bit violent. 7 of us holding her alone.. I can say, I was very scared.. Yes, I admit I was scared. It happened right before my eyes, and that was my first time in my 24 years of living! Though I lived in hostels for more than 9 years, I've never encountered or experienced anything like this before.. [Ya Allah, I thank You for that..]

So, back to the story, we did what we can, and prayed hard to Allah.. We recited Yassin and Ayatul Qursi over and over again.. As I said before, the senior students are used to this situation, that they handled it well.. Syukran Ya Allah..

As a teacher, it's not a good feeling to feel inadequate at something. Yet, this one was really challenging.. There and then, if offered a warden position, instinctively my answer will most probably be 'No, thanks~'


('~')

~Of trip, birthday present, cakes and a song~

My first trip as a teacher...

Thursday, 2.30 p.m., Hostel's compound:

I went to Sedim River, in Kedah..aroud 45 minuted drive there. but on that day, I went with kak ita by bus, along with the students.. The camp will be for Pengawas Asrama sekolah, and I dunno how my name appeared in the list. I'm not a warden, and not even a counselor... hurm.. There's a story behind it as well..

* * *

Well, to start with, there are two of us I** n I. As mentioned by kak ita, she nominated both of our names for it, but only my name was in it. orait, so Mr PI aka the warden was surprised, and did his best to convinced I** that she was supposed to be in the trip. He msged her. Here's his own words "kak ita heran knapa nma I** x dak, sya pn heran knapa nama Jijah ada"... Touche~ owhkayy, u are mean! geram dah..


* * *

The day before that --> Wednesday, in Baling

I woke up this morning, feeling something and everything is wrong~ so, i decided to skip school today. I called up the school, and I** took me to Hospital Baling for check up and MC, of course..(thank u).. nothing much on the noon. Then, Mr PI called me to ask help in picking up cakes for a Hostel event tonight, 'majlis smbutan maulidur rasul n smbutan hari jadi bdk hostel'. of course I can't help, I was sick, and left with no car. Nvrmnd.

Evening

I was hungry. Apparently I** was late from her evening-session school bcoz she picked up the cakes, and she didn't msg me earlier (I expect a lot from her right, hmm). So, I was hungry, sick and alone. When she came back, kak ita called and asked for help. Kna tlg bawak budak hostel pi hospital, as the other wardens with cars, were not around. There was a girl who broke her ring finger. We waited at the emergency room till 9 p.m. Hectic evening. Dah la we were getting ready for the hostel's event which started at 8 pm. We were late. Again, I was hungry, sick, tired and late! but still have to attend the ceremony, thanks to Mr PI! I** was forced by him to come, so nak tak nak, I also had to come.

Events of the night, ceramah frm ustaz Rifaie, then giving out presents to students who were born on Jan, Feb and March. And lastly, to teachers who were born on Jan, Feb and March.. owhhkay. we didn't know about this. so, they called out names. And I, who foolishly thought that my name will be in it, was left crushed.. The MC announced, 'Akhir sekali, Cikgu I** N***** binti si polan si polan'.. I was dumbfounded... (I was born on 23rd January okay!)..they didn't call out my name!?

it's okay, i can live with that.. (sapa suruh perasan,kan?)

but then, my mind began to think:

- my precious students, whom I spend most of my time with during and after school hour, don't even know my birthday but knew i**'s.. that hurts me..

- those students whom I am closed with, compared to I**, do not make the effort to know both of our birthdays, but only knew one (which is hers)! that's a real blow~.

- Even the warden, Mr PI who I knew is interested in I**, did not realize the damage done. Busy tuning his attention towards I**.. (okay, now i sound like a jealous person. Am not~)

I was devastated, my emotions were in turmoil, I hold back my tears.. (ntah knape emotional sgt mlm tuh). And I was mad, someone whom I called a friend, didn't say anything, but was happy in her own world, unaware of my grief. She could have said something! 'are you okay?' or at least make a remark like 'jijah, they forgot ur birthday..'.. ooh, i knew she knew my birthday, we just discussed about it the day before that. But she just said 'ya Allah jah..' and smileeddd~ while holding her present. HeLlloo~ earth to I**? I'm still here, with the hurt look on my face. I was provoked beyond reasons, and it hurts! I was mad because she doesn't know how to handle the situation.

We went back to our house, and I cried alone.. I had to do something to let my feelings known. Deep inside, I was mad with everything and everyone. So, couldn't contained myself, I msgd Mr PI

'salam, sya pn lahir January jgk.. kecik ati...'

and he replied

'wsalam, ye ke? sya tak tau, event ni bdk2 yg handle.. depa tlepas pndang la tu'..

I didnt reply for that, what for? no point, but being a good person (yeah, puji la dia sket) he kept msging me nak pujuk konon.. I don't need that. Do that to ur sweetheart, to I** perhaps. Mind you.. I'm not 'merajuk', I was just having a moment of despair, or easily put, 'saya kecik hati'.. that's all. I don't know why i felt so irritated when people labeled that as 'merajuk'. I was about to back off from tomorrow's trip to Sedim, but I know I can't and I couldn't. My conscience won't let me. Besides, I had given them my words.

I** on the other hand, had decided not to go, as her name was not on the programme book. fine.

* * *

Thursday evening (smbung yg tadi)

so, nak tak nak, there I was, waiting for the bus on Thursday, with kak ita n those students.. try to act normal..hurm, I sensed something fishy. The students seemed to act weird ('.'?). We loaded the bus, and started off our journey to Sedim. On our way there, one of the students used the haler to make an announcement. That was what I thought at first. He went on 'assalamualaikum, kami nak mntk maaf kat Cikgu Azizah sbb semalam x bagi hadiah kat dia. Jadi harap ckgu dapat maafkan kami..' they came to me with a cake and a present, singing happy birthday, with innocent face on each one of them. (on the moving bus! dangerous).. I couldn't resist, but to forgive them.. I may not be able to forget, especially to those who did nothing to rectify the situation! But for these students, I was flattered with their efforts. I knew somehow Mr PI was involved in planning this. thank you. at least you know how to act. Truly, I don't expect or want u guys to do this. I don't care about the presents or cakes. Anyhow, i appreciate what the students did. Malas nak pjgkan crita, i'm okay with them now.

I remembered Sukran's words 'teacher, slagi sya ada, sya akan pastikan teacher gembira'.. aaaawwwwww~.. then they also sang 'wahai guruku, mengapa cemburu~ na na na na (i don't know the lyric, haha)' obviously they substituted the word 'sayangku' with 'guruku'...

apapun, I still managed to enjoy my trip to Sedim with the hostelians... and I love you all... hoho

('.'*)

My memorable trip to Sedim 12, 13 and 14 March 2009

Kak Ita, Cg Azhan, Cg Zambry, and students (ada Hilmi kecik!)



Some of the kids, tgh dgr briefing for water rafting


This was what we did there..



I did it too.. hehe. Sukran yg kanan skali :)

Right here!

A month and a half... that was the duration of being a 'Miss Azizah' in my new school.. Very happy and grateful to be posted here.. The school environment is totally different if compared to the school during my practicum. LOVE the kids! These students are my sunshine, and they are also my bitter pills...haish~

I'm the class teacher for 4 Dahlia... So far, i'm in good term and being with them makes me feel great! Somehow, to help my classroom management and obtaining their attention, I have set the rules that whenever I call out '4 D' or '4 Dahlia', they'll have to answer me 'right here!'... Since then, these students had cheekily teased me with that line. For instance, during one of my class with 4D, I asked them a question, which no one knows the answer (or don't want to answer)... suddenly Izzat raised his hand...

Miss A: Yes, Izzat? Do you know the answer?

With his innocent and confidence face... he answered...

Izzat : Teacher, right here. (What????!)

Hahaha, I couldn't not resist but to laugh :D out of nowhere, 'right here' was an answer.. He did this intentionally! Izzat had once said, "teacher, that's gonna be your 'tagline'".. (I was impressed he used the word 'tagline' haha)

And that was just the beginning... Try to imagine , when I joined the boys to play volleyball, Mahfurz jumped for a block and unconsciously shouted "right here!" (Whattt??? again).. Even Ikhwan would definitely won't waste any opportunity to use that line.. Passing by classes I'm in, he'll whisper (loudly!).."right here~!"

Hmm...Yesterday and today, Izzat, Mahfurz, Ikhwan, and 5 other students had transferred to Sekolah Teknik.. It’s gonna be my sweet memories with them... no more teasing from them, no more cheeky smiles and jokes, or bubbly personalities. They are my FIRST students, no matter what..Hmm, c'est la vie~